so near yet so far...

God is always near us and with us. But at times, we feel like He's so far, beyond where our arms could reach. Indeed, it is clearly stated in the Bible that men have fallen short of the glory of God. Therefore, I believe it is during these times when we feel that God is miles away from us. Being humans, we will ask questions like where is God when we need Him, why God doesn't answer me, why God allow such heartaches to happen in my life, and so on.

Is it for us to blame God for not showing us the light? Or is it for us to reflect on ourselves?

We have fallen short of God's glory. Darkness has no place in the awesomeness of God. If we want to be in God's presence, if we want to feel God's hand in our lives, we ought to look at ourselves. How has our life been. Is it pleasing to God or is it just pleasing our earthly desires?

We humans are selfish. We want God when we're in deep trouble and we push God aside when things are going the way we like it. We are being unfair to God. If it's because of this reason that God has shun His face from us, do we have the right to question what God is doing.

This agenda has been mingling around in my mind for a long long time. When are we going to live a life that is holy and righteous, that is completely pleasing to God. Is it even possible for us to achieve such a thing in this life on earth with our sinful nature?

God... Have mercy on me and all your children Lord for we have fallen short of Your standards. Teach us Father to live a life that is faultless before You. We yearn to come to You one day as a pure and holy sacrifice, spotless and acceptable to you.

Teach us O Father, how to be the children of God...

Hanging On...

There was a boy, background unknown. He saw Jesus, standing at a short distance away from him. He ran towards Jesus, embracing Jesus' legs for Jesus is so big. He then looks upon Jesus' face with a smile. Jesus in return look down at him, returning the smile by stretching out His hand and stroke the boy's hair. Immediately, blessings flow into the boy, from head to toe, he was covered in Jesus' blessings.
Then Jesus said, " Hang on to me tightly. Hang on to me in faith. For as long as you are a part of me, I will never let you go. My power is your power. Stay with me and my blessings will always fill you."
Instantly, the boy fell to his knees and worship Jesus, thanking Jesus for this great promise that has been given to him.

This was what I saw, not once but twice in three days. It has given me faith to continue to seek God and like the boy, hang on to Jesus.

I hope this will give you great encouragement like how it did to me.

God bless all of you!

Finally, I'm back!

A very big apology to those who opened my blog for the past 9 months and discover nothing new.

Guess I shall revive this blog again in this new year. Many things had happened for the past 9 months. It'll be too much if I were to write it all down. So I'll just continue writing from this moment onwards.

In less than 2 days time, I shall be returning to my university, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (Malaysia National University). Sounds like some great place but honestly, nothing that great here.
Therefore, I'm not really looking back to return and continue my studies. Anyhow I would like to thank God for giving me a place to study and He has also seen me through my first semester.
Didn't end it in flying colours but I'm more than grateful to finish it with a moderate score.

That would be about my studies. As for my spiritual life, it has been up and down but i guess it's a normal thing. In the end, God still comes out first in my life He has continue to assure me that His grace is sufficient for me. God has placed me in a very warm and welcoming Christian Fellowship in uni called PERKEB, Persaudaraan Kristius. Met and know many great friends there too. Simply a great bunch of people that helps me to build on my relationship with God as well as simply being a friend in time of need.

Well, think that'll be all this time as this just a random post and also to inform all of you that I'm alive and that I'll be back blogging=)

God Wills It

News of the latest elections results are being announced as I'm typing. The opposition no doubt is growing stronger. My own state (Kedah) has fallen into the hands of the opposition. No matter what has happened, God will still be with us till the very end. Be it joy or sadness, all glory to God as we know He is always faithful to us from the day He created us. At the end of the day, we have to accept whatever is place before us. Good or bad, God wills it..

Meaningful SMS

Though I'm His sheep, I'm still prone to stray;
So Jesus in love sends afflictions my way;
The lessons I've learned in this school of deep pain;
Have thought me to follow my Lord once again.

This SMS was sent to me last year by a dear friend. Although it's something familiar, it's just very comforting to get a SMS like that once in awhile. So I hope you guys will be comforted while reading this.

The new year has begun. The feeling of school re-opening to me longer exist. I wish all those who have went back to school will stay strong and persevere through another year. Seek the Lord's strength and peace. It will be sufficient to carry you through the year well, according to His plans for you. I'll end this entry with a verse from the Bible.

We wait in hope for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield;
In Him our hearts rejoice;
For we trust in His holy name;
May Your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord;
Even as we put our hope in You.
- Psalm 33:20-22 -

True Meaning of Christmas

'And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. The the angel said to them,"Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign to you : You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!" - Luke 2:9-14 -

If I were to sum up the true meaning of Christmas in one word, it will be Emmanuel, which means God with us.

For all those who are celebrating Christmas, I pray that the true meaning of Christmas will be in your heart not only on this special day, but for the rest of your life. May the joy and peace that the birth of Jesus' Christ brings, rest on you and your household.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Pleasant things don't always come the way you expected. As you thought a breeze of wind is coming, there comes the tornado. As you thought rain will finally drop, there will be too much till flood happens. As you try to taste honey, thousands of bees will attack you from the back.

Remember folks.. A dog may bite you even you just fed it with a piece of meat a minute ago. Blessings might not follow even when you do good to others.

We need Your intervention Father in heaven. Only You can stop this house of Yours from crumbling down. Please Father, come.....

'The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.' - Psalm 34:18 -

It is OVER!!

Sijil Peperiksaan Tinggi Malaysia aka. STPM is oooooovvvveeeerrr!!!!!!!

After 1 and a half years of studying form6, the exam finishes in just TWO stinking weeks. It took just 8 papers which adds up to 22 hours to get everything over. I still feel it's a bad way to examine students. Sorry mr. Hishamuddin, it really sucks.

But so far 31 hours after the end of my exam, everything seems to be going really fine. I had a steamboat party with my friends that night itself. Then today, I receive a call from aunty Khoo (my piano teacher) and she brought me good news. She offered me a 2 and a half day job that lets me earn RM200. I'm like WOW!!! The job is piano exam invigilator. All I need to do is send people in the exam room after confirming their details and call people up if they didn't turn up on the expected time. Trinity London is paying RM200 for that job. And of course, I quickly said yes. Hahaha...

Tomorrow i'll be off to YLDP camp in Fraser's Hill. Got to start the journey at 6 in the morning. What to do, i'm living in the north. I'm not entirely excited about the camp but I'll go with an open heart, allowing God to work His magic there.

Well then, gotta jump into bed now and get some deserved rest. Till next time...

Together

When I was at the brink of falling into the deepest pit ever, a good friend of mine wrote this to me.

'Lord... Help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that You and I TOGETHER can't handle.'

Remember.. When you surrender everything to God, there is nothing that can come between you and Him.

Happy Deepavali

Happy Deepavali to all my Hindu friends. Have a great time!!

Sorry again for this very short entry. I'm afraid that is all the time I have.

Till next time..

Pre-STPM journey

Study, study and study.. That's about what I have to do for the next 50 days or so. Life becomes such a routine with STPM around the corner. Can't do this or that.. When friends come back for their semester break, can't really hang out much with them. Life is just so dull right now. But at least I'm glad that I'm still able to attend church and MYF. Those are the time where I can take a break from the world of studying and enjoy myself.

Yesterday was a sad day because my pregnant swordtail fish died. I was expecting about 100 baby fish but somehow it just died. I can't find any reason for its death. And today, her partner died as well. I wonder, do fish have emotions like us humans. After the female died, the male became less active and often stayed at one place. I thought something might be wrong with the water so I changed it but it didn't help. I'm gonna get some new ones cause I tak puas hati they just died like that.

I gotta sign off now and get back to my studying. To all who are reading my entries, please pray for me that I may do well in my STPM. I really appreciate if you guys pray for me. I guess the next entry will be after my STPM which ends on the 3rd of December.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all my friends!!!

50th Independence

Hi people.. I guess it is almost 2 months since I last posted an entry. I would say STPM and other stuff has been taking up much of my time. Before I continue saying anything else, Happy 50th Independence Day Malaysia.

Well, my STPM trials is coming up in 5 days. Ya, just 5 short days left and yet I haven't finish studying half of what I'm suppose to accomplish. Nothing or no one is to blame because it is me who is lazy to get things moving. Not mentioning the amount of tv I'm watching. I've decided not to put high hopes for this trials but rather concentrate on the real STPM.

Today in Malaysia, everyone is celebrating our 50th Independence Day or suppose to be celebrating la. As for myself, nothing much of celebration has been done today or during eve of this event. But I'm glad that tonight in my Methodist Youth Fellowship (MYF), we're gonna have some celebration in a small scale. Playing game which is indirectly connected to our Independence Day which we call 'catch the flag' game whereby we have 2 forts with a flag each. The purpose is to take over your opponent's fort by getting hold of their flag. We'll also be having water balloons to throw at each other so I guess it would be some fun. A short devotion will be shared based on the significance of the year of Jubilee in the bible. Then, we will be singing some patriotic songs prepared by our president. And of course, spending some time to pray for our nation as an MYF.

That will be all from me this time for I manage to find a little time to post this entry and to let you guys know that I'm still alive. heh.. Everything is fine for now but will be better when STPM is over! Adios...

Illustrations

One day, a man had a conversation with God.

Man : God, I have one question to ask You.
God : Shoot it.
Man : May I know which side are You on? My side or my enemies' side?
God : Why do you need to ask questions like these? Isn't it easier if you just come to My side? Then you won't need to worry which side I'm on.
Man : Come to Your side?
God : Yea. Invite Me and I will come. I will surely come.

Although we might be Christians for many many years, along our journey we might feel a little dry, as if God was far away. You tend to feel Your walk with God is stagnant, a routine. Why don't we just invite God again? I have personally felt the dry and stagnant walk with the Lord. God is always there for us and all we need to do is ask. Sometimes we concentrate so much on praying for others till we forget to pray for ourselves. A balance will be good. We may feel like we are walking through a desert but God will provide an oasis to refresh us.

Remember, God is the landlord of our heart and we are the tenant. If we don't invite the landlord(God) in, He will still be standing outside, waiting.

Global Prayer Day

Mid-year exam is finally over and holiday has arrive. At last I can have some space to breathe before preparing for my trial exams again. Sigh... This is what you get if you study form 6.

Anyway, I want to take this chance to share with you guys a bible verse as today is also the global prayer day. I really like this verse and the power it offers.

' In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.'
Romans 8:26-27

Remember this verse when you have difficulties when praying. It has helped me and I know it will do for you. God bless!

The Year of Jubilee

Revival starts with repentance and ends with God's assurance.

Although it is not our National Day today, I want to urge everyone out there to pray for our own nation, Malaysia.

It is the year of jubilee for Malaysia so I believe God will allow something special to take place. All we need is P.U.S.H. (Pray Till Something Happens). Perseverance in prayer is indeed very important.

Start praying for Malaysia and wait upon the manifestation of the Lord's power.

The Greatest Miracle

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16

As Jesus was being crucified on the cross, there are so many things that God could do to get Jesus down from the cross. But why didn't He? Was God not able to perform any miracle for that few hours? Actually, God did the greatest miracle by not doing any miracle at all. God could have taken Jesus down with a snap of his finger or maybe kill all the Roman soldiers before they could nail Jesus on the cross.

The Christian faith will be totally different if God had done all those miracles. The main reason God allowed His beloved son to be nailed on the cross is because He love each and everyone of us. Through Jesus' death on the cross, not only our sins are forgiven, the bridge between us and God has also been restored.

As for Jesus, He was willing to take all the burdens upon His shoulder so that we can be united with God. Jesus showed nothing less than 100% of His love to us by dying for us on the cross. He endured all the cruel lashes of whipping and humiliation just so that we need not pay for the penalty of our sins which is eternal death. I would say, there is no other sacrifice like this.

Thank you Jesus for all that You've accomplished on the cross for me.

Great cookies for all!!

Hi people.. This is suppose to be the Famous Amos recipe. I've tried it and it taste great. Well, you might want to half the recipe. Following exactly what is written below can make 'tons' of cookies. If you are a chocolate lover, don't think anymore. Just try them. You will love them. Have fun!!

2 cups butter
4 cups flour
2 tsp. baking soda
2 cups granulated sugar
2 cups brown sugar
5 cups blended oatmeal (measure oatmeal & blend in blender to a fine powder
24 oz. chocolate chips
1 tsp. salt
18 oz. Cadbury bar (grated)
4 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)
2 tsp. vanilla

Cream the butter and both sugars.
Add eggs and vanilla; mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and soda.
Add chocolate chips, Cadbury bar and nuts.
Roll into balls and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet.
Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees.
Makes 122 cookies..

Why or What?

"Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief." - Proverb 14:13

What an irony.. That verse from the bible is definitely true and I believe many of you will agree. Pondering upon that verse, I looked back at my own life and how true, it applies to me. Good news followed by bad news. Even good deeds might end up with horrible return. All those doesn't sound nice to any human ear but that's just how God works in the lives of certain people.

God is a sovereign God whereby He is in control over everything, good or bad. When the good happens to us, we might give thanks to Him but often He's not the first we say thanks. Then when bad things happen, we ask God why this why that.. Maybe asking God why isn't the correct question.

Suppose that God showed us the reasons why He allowed the bad things to happen, would it have satisfied us? Probably not. A man by the name of Cecil Murphey gave this example. After he was married, he kept asking his wife "Why do you fry eggs that way?", "Why do you put garlic in the salad?", etc... One day, as he was asking his wife questions like these, his wife turn off the stove and sat next to him. She asked him, "When you ask me why, I feel like you're really saying I shouldn't do it that way. Is that what you're doing?" Cecil was shocked by the question from his wife. He couldn't deny that what his wife said was true. All these while the only cooking he has tasted is his mum's cooking, and his wife did things differently. He then realize that when he asked those why questions, he was actually telling her not to do it that way.

From that example, I believe when we ask God the why question, we are not wanting the information. It won't make us feel any better if God had really told us why. Its more like we're not bold enough to tell God that we knew a better way to do things. Maybe the better question would be "What is going on?"

After all, we might have to look inward first before charging God with our uncaring tone. Self-examination is what I mean. If we really mean serious business with God, it pushes us to question our motives and to ponder what we really want. One mirror won't be enough to look at our whole image, we need to stand in between two mirrors, that is when we see the parts of ourselves that we don't like to view.

Instead of the mean, uncaring tone we sometimes charge God with, is it just possible that this may be the most tender and kind method of showing us who we really are so that we can become more of who God wants us to be?

Are we at that level of boldness??

Find Rest in God

7 days of Chinese New Year had passed. I have to say what a busy and tiring week that was. Although it was school holidays, I don't think I had space to breathe. Weird but that was how it went.

Don't think I will be telling about the CNY week cause I don't know where to start and where to end. Basically it was a hectic week for me. After all that, things changed when I was in church today.

When I went church today after that crazy and tiring week, I felt the feeling of peace and warmness in me. I felt as if my 'spiritual being' was lying down on a bed, resting comfortably. It was then that I realized I was in the presence of God. He knows what I need after a tough week and He gave me without me asking Him. What a great God I believe in! God is just simply wonderful. He knows what is best for us and He provides in His correct timing.

Despite all the things in life, learn to take rest in God's embracing arms. He gives comfort like no other. God is Great!!

Under Siege...

It has been a long time since I blogged. Sorry to those who visited my blog to find there is nothing new.

The past Sunday was Communion Sunday in my church. As usual, we had the 'bread' and grape juice and also reading from the Methodist Hymnal. There was nothing different I did during communion but there were a few words that kept me thinking non-stop till this very second.

' We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness, which we form time to time most grievously have committed, by thought, word, and deed, against thy divine majesty. We do earnestly repent, and are heartily sorry for these our misdoings; the remembrance of them is grievous unto us.'

These two sentences are not new to me for I've read them for years. I could even recite them without looking at the hymnal. These words finally struck me like the stone that struck Goliath.

Some of you might know that how dark my past was when I was in primary Chinese school and lower secondary. Well, the good thing is I have changed. But what happens when the past comes to present? I have never thought how to handle it because I never thought it would come back and haunt me ever again!

All these 'fiery arrows' are shooting at me and I'm finding it hard to resist them. I might have taken some of those shots lately but I am still able to pull them out. But no matter what the wounds are there! It is hard to nurse the wounds and resist the arrows at the same time! My castle is under great siege! (I put it this way because it is very hard to explain, just hope that you guys can understand from this.)

Have I not sincerely confess my past to the Lord? I dunno. So my friends, remember when you confess, make sure it's from the bottom of your heart, make sure you mean what you confess. If not, you'll end up in a dilemma like me......