Under Siege...

It has been a long time since I blogged. Sorry to those who visited my blog to find there is nothing new.

The past Sunday was Communion Sunday in my church. As usual, we had the 'bread' and grape juice and also reading from the Methodist Hymnal. There was nothing different I did during communion but there were a few words that kept me thinking non-stop till this very second.

' We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness, which we form time to time most grievously have committed, by thought, word, and deed, against thy divine majesty. We do earnestly repent, and are heartily sorry for these our misdoings; the remembrance of them is grievous unto us.'

These two sentences are not new to me for I've read them for years. I could even recite them without looking at the hymnal. These words finally struck me like the stone that struck Goliath.

Some of you might know that how dark my past was when I was in primary Chinese school and lower secondary. Well, the good thing is I have changed. But what happens when the past comes to present? I have never thought how to handle it because I never thought it would come back and haunt me ever again!

All these 'fiery arrows' are shooting at me and I'm finding it hard to resist them. I might have taken some of those shots lately but I am still able to pull them out. But no matter what the wounds are there! It is hard to nurse the wounds and resist the arrows at the same time! My castle is under great siege! (I put it this way because it is very hard to explain, just hope that you guys can understand from this.)

Have I not sincerely confess my past to the Lord? I dunno. So my friends, remember when you confess, make sure it's from the bottom of your heart, make sure you mean what you confess. If not, you'll end up in a dilemma like me......